Self care has been flattened into a marketing category. Face masks. Bubble baths. Candles. A glass of wine after the kids are in bed. These things are fine. They are not the problem. The problem is that we have collectively confused self care with self soothing, and in doing so, we have handed mothers a completely inadequate toolkit for something that is actually much more serious. Real self care is not what you do after you are depleted. It is the ongoing practice of not dep